I certainly have not always felt good in my own skin. In fact, I believed that confidence was a gene I was missing. I spent most of my childhood and young adulthood feeling socially awkward and painfully shy, with the athletic finesse of a kitchen mop.

And the hair! I had curly hair, but not Elisabeth Shue circa 1984, but more like...Gilda Radner. It didn’t help that I grew up in a toxic and chaotic home torn apart by alcohol and anger, storms that left me running for cover and sitting quietly as I waited for them to pass. Those feelings (and that hair) followed me into adulthood, marriage, motherhood, and beyond.

The one thing I could rely on was a harsh and internalized critic who, like a toxic cheerleader in a zero sum game, shouting, Rah-rah! perfection or bust! So in my 20s, I committed to backbreaking workout schedules and and zero-tolerance policy for indulgence. I figured the best thing was to be mythically thin and quiet so that I wouldn’t embarrass myself, and I tiptoed thusly into middle age. 

It wasn’t until my mid 40s that I was able to climb out from under this emotional landslide—which I did by finding a therapist who helped me understand my value and belief systems and embrace the gifts I once deemed “not enough.” Doing this work, I came to understand that peace, joy, and serenity do not come from what surrounds me, they grow from within me. For the first time, I began to feel purpose and experience a genuine connection to others from a place of trust. I was determined to break the cycle of dysfunction and reconnect with my authentic self. 

Given how much time and effort I’d put into fitness, it made sense for me to become a personal trainer. The women who hired me believed they needed to: lose weight, train for a marathon, look perfect for their wedding day (or every day). What I learned was that while those women had tangible goals, what they wanted wasn’t tangible at all: They wanted to feel they had “it”—they wanted to feel confident, good, lovable, and attractive in their own skin, instead of cowering inside of it. 

As they trained and got stronger, that strength and sense of achievement and self love didn’t end at the gym, but grew in all areas of their lives, from work to friendships to romantic partnerships. 

My experience as a trainer was the catalyst to becoming a life coach for women who, like me years ago, have yet to experience the full spectrum of their strength and potential. I bring not only my years of coaching to bear, but also degrees in psychology, elementary education, and certifications in medical exercise and coaching from American Council on Exercises (ACE) and JRNI Coaching Intensive. I live in Kansas City, Missouri with my husband tending our empty nest while Paul pursues college, and doting over Lucy, our lab shepherd mix.